


Hey Babydoll

by neko_fish



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 100 word drabbles, 5 Times, Humor, M/M, Prank Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 06:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10156616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_fish/pseuds/neko_fish
Summary: 5 times Keith and Shiro prank-text their team mates (+1 time they text each other (+1 time it was actually a mistake))





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by that friend who never checks who they're sending their cringey texts to. I can't wait for them to accidentally send a risque text to a group chat just to have everyone reply "And then what, Monkey? ;)"

1) Huggy Bear

**_To: Lance  
_ _From: Keith_ **

_I’m here, Huggy Bear. Where are you?_  
  
Lance stops mid-step and backpedals a few steps in hopes of rewinding time back a few seconds to a reality in which he didn’t have to read that message. It doesn’t work. The message is still there and he’s pretty sure he tastes vomit in his mouth.

He swallows hard.

Yeah, that’s probably vomit.  
  
**_To: Keith  
_ _From: Lance_ **

_Aww Poo Bear, did you miss me? I can’t blame you. I mean, who could resist someone like ME? I’m in the kitchen throwing up my lunch. Care to join me?_

\--

2) Cuddle Monkey

**_To: Pidge  
_ ** **_From: Shiro_ **

_Hey Cuddle Monkey, care to join me in the pool for a late night swim?_

It’s the middle of the night (according to Coran anyway; it’s hard to tell time in space without a clock) and Pidge wishes they didn’t go through the trouble of waking up, groping around for their comms unit, and putting their glasses on to read that gag-worthy message from their great, infallible leader. Blinking blearily, they type back:

**_To: Shiro  
_ _From: Pidge_ **

_Hey Doodle Bug, want to make sure you send your late night message to the right person next time?_

_\--_

3) Stud Muffin

**_To: Hunk  
_ _From: Keith_**

_Come to the training room, Stud Muffin, I could use a work out._

Hunk nearly dropped his comms unit. “No, no,” he tells himself, “I’m sure there’s a perfectly good reason for this.”

The first explanation he comes up with is that he’s dreaming.

He pinches his cheeks.

“Ow.”

Nope.

The second explanation he comes up with is that a sun exploded and they’re all dead.

He looks out a window.

Nope.

The third explanation he comes up with is Lance.

**_To: Keith  
_ _From: Hunk_ **

_Lance????? Is that you???? Did you take Keith’s comms unit again?????_

\--

4) Mr. Cat

**_To: Allura  
_ _From: Shiro_**

_Feel like going for a walk, Mr. Cat? Make sure you bring a jacket, it’s cold on this planet…though I’m sure I can think of ways to warm you up._

Allura frowns and reads the message again. “I think there’s something wrong with this communication device,” she tells the mice. Not wanting to miss any important messages, she goes to the control panel of the ship and accesses her messages there.

Still the same.

Brows furrowing, she replies:

**_To: Shiro  
_ _From: Allura_ **

_Shiro, please double-check your recipient before sending personal messages. Also, who is Mr. Cat?_

_\--_

5) Snugglebutt

**_To: Coran  
_ _From: Keith_**

_Hurry to bed, Snugglebutt._

Coran reads the message and beams.

**_To: Keith  
_ _From: Coran_ **

_Keith! I always knew that deep down behind all that frowning was the heart of a gentle, caring paladin! I’ll be off to bed in a tick, I was just recalibrating some of our systems. I know it’s surprising, but the Castle of Lions IS 10,600 years old! It’s bound to require a little maintenance, but it never ceases to amaze me how well my grandfather built this. You know, that actually reminds me of I was young and accompanied him to…_

_\--_

+1) How they actually text

**_To: Shiro_ **  
_From: Keith_

_Did we get everyone?_

**_To: Keith_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_I think so. Did you get anything good?_

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Keith_ **

_Coran sent me an entire novel about this time he and his grandfather went to a moon that orbited ridiculously fast around this planet and a meteor hit it and swung it out of orbit and sent them flying half a galaxy away and they had to engineer their way out of trouble. It took me a WHOLE DAY to read it all._

**_To: Keith_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_That actually sounds really interesting. Send it to me?_

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Keith_ **

_Okay, it might take a while to send even with Altean technology… What about you? Anything good?_

**_To: Keith_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_Pidge still won’t stop calling me Doodle Bug and I had to explain that “Mr.Cat” was a nickname._

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Keith_ **

_Mr. Cat????_

**_To: Keith_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_I thought it was cute!_

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Keith_ **

_Okay, yeah, I guess it kind of is._

**_To: Keith_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_You know, this was the most fun I’ve had in a while. We make a great team, Keith._

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Keith_ **

_We sure do, Shiro._

_\--_

++1) The accident

**_To: Slav_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_Keith, hope you’re ready to head out. I found a really nice place for dinner. On my way to your room now._

**_To: Shiro_ **  
**_From: Slav_ **

_Oh? You know, there are several alternate realities in which I actually become the Red Paladin so there is a non-zero probability that you are actually going to the right room. Also, there is a 3/986_ 100 of a percent chance that you will find the Red Paladin unready due to the sudden appearance of a foreign fruit.

 **_To: Slav_ **  
**_From: Shiro_ **

_I SENT THAT BY MISTAKE. PLEASE DISREGARD THAT MESSAGE._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finally out of my posting slump thanks to my growing obsession with Sheith. No way to get out of a slump like something light and short after having rewatched the series 4 times in a row. There will be more stuff to come!


End file.
